This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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