Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
