it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
