grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
