If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
