she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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