Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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