someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
