Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
