I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
