You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
