turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
