The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
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Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
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What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The air taste purple.
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