she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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