No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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