I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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