the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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