and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
