Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
