its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
