Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
