The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
porn star boner night. come get it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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