i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
