when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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