Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
