I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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