everyone is single if you try hard enough
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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