google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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