we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
