This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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