Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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