making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
