I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
