your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
