Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
