i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I need water and some morals
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
