I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
