sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
