Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
