when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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