Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
