I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
