some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
