I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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