sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
