We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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