today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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