You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
