Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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