Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
