she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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