So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
