She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
