yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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