The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
