i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
