I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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