Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just found a bag of teeth...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
