Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
